9w1d

Ah how optimistic I sounded in my last post.  Sweet naive optimism.  S and I spent the past week at a lake in california that my family has been going to every summer for 28 years.  It’s peaceful and relaxing and beautiful and the one time of year I know I’ll see my family.  This year however, I spent puking up my meals and languishing in the unairconditioned upstairs room (yes, after years of camping we now camp in a cabin) being decididely antisocial.  I am, once again, so sick.  So sick I wonder why anyone has children.  Or at least why anyone has more than one!  So sick I’ve lost four pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight.  I’ll be the first to admit I could afford to lose four pounds since I’m starting off quite overweight, but under these circumstances I’m not sure it’s a good thing.  So sick that nothing sounds good, not even col.d stone.  I’ve tried saltines.  I’ve tried not eating.  I’ve tried constantly eating.  I’ve tried protein.  I’ve tried carbs.  I’ve tried preg.gie pops.  I’ve tried distraction.  Today I just broke down and cried and cried.  The constant crappy nausea is making me cranky and beastly and is just wearing…  me… down…  And S is feeling cranky too, because she’s lost her partner to do stuff with.  She wants to go to the farmer’s market, to movies, out to eat at really yummy sounding places, and all I can do is lie in bed and barf/think about barfing/relive recent barfing.  So now I’m counting down the days until trimester two.  I think it’s about 26.